Under Iranian Missile Attack

Today I experienced being under attack by 200 intercontinental ballistic missiles. I want to first start with some thoughts and then I will convey the story via writing and video. **This was the first time I had feared for my life and experienced the psychological effects of terrorism.** It is really sad to me that I was personally under attack for being Jewish and being in Israel. In the US and on social media you always see videos and news but it never really feels personal or an attack on your life until you are under fire. It saddened me there are people in the world who hate me but don't even know me, just because I am Jewish. I try and strive to be compassionate for them even though they are very lost and filled with hate. I experienced the psychological effects of the terror attack. When I ran to my hostel from the shelter I was constantly looking over my shoulder and even the smallest sound scared me. I heard things that sounded like sirens but it was just an ambulance or a door. These small little triggers are the effects of terrorists on the mind. The past week I was walking around care free not worrying about anything. Now I am worried and any loud noise reminded me of a rocket boom or a siren. I have this feeling and I only experienced one attack. I can't imagine all the Israelis who have gone through it multiple times and stories of US and Israeli militarily members with PTSD from war and booms and attacks. In the parking garage shelter there was a baby. It was sad to see how children and families and people of all ages had to go through this together. I was trying to watch my mind from a bird's eye view throughout the attack. It was a roller coaster. Right when you think it's okay and safe you hear a ginormous boom and rattling so close it shakes your bones. **Being in the unknown was the most terrifying part.** I was not sure if I'd be there for hours or days. This is also a psychological game. As humans we seek control and understanding of events even if they are way beyond our control. We make up fictitious scenarios which stress us out and cause psychological harm. For example I made up a story how terrorists would storm the shelter I was in. Even though this was a real threat it was out of my control. Being comfortable in the unknown in all aspects of life is a true skill for mental stability. The following day, October 2nd, people resumed their lives as normal. There was so much life and happiness. Kids playing in the street, children walking their babies, friends hanging out in cafe's. For me the effects of the attack calmed down when I saw a bunch of people happy and enjoying their lives immediately. **The people of Israel are truly resilient and strong and happy.** The morning was an amazing. I woke up and ran a 5k on the beach and did push ups and pull ups. It was a beautiful day out. In the afternoon Zach and I decided to go check out the waves for surfing in Jaffa. We left our phones at the hostel and headed to the beach. The conditions were terrible for surfing, mushy waves and very windy, but Zach still wanted to go so I gave in. Mayaan, the owner of the surf shop was super nice. She didn't charge a lot and gave us all the info on the surf. I returned my board and Mayaan told me, "there will probably be missiles tonight so stay safe". I didn't think anything of it because I had not been on my phone and there have been missiles in Israel the whole year. This is around 1800. After surfing Zach and I threw the frisbee on the beach and then went to go get kombucha at a chill spot in town. On the way to the kombucha bar I ran into two people on two separate occasions from our volunteering trip. They both said that there are reports of missiles but did not say anything about the extend. Still Zach and I did not care because we're Israelis and not tourists. Things began to get real when we left the kombucha bar and saw all the restaurants closing up. The main street of Tel Aviv was a ghost town. It was very eerie. We were still so oblivious since we have not been on our phones in hours. We ask a soldier on the street what's going on and he said just get back home. It did not seem like there was an imminent threat so we still walked calmly to our hostel. Then on the Main Street as we are walking back to the hostel I see about 10 people run into a hotel. At first I thought they were just guests but then I see more people rushing frantically into an apartment building. We decide to follow them into the building and ask what is going on. We are in the third floor of the stairwell of an apartment building with about 7 other people. A guy lent us his phone and told us Iran is attacking. This was a shock because I thought it would just be one or two missiles from Yemen or hezbollah. **It turns out Iran would be sending 200 ballistic missiles, the largest missile attack on any country ever.** When I heard the sirens and the announcements for the first time my heart started racing. Then the booms started. We did not know if they were direct hit, interceptions, or the scale of what was going on. For all I knew the building I was in could easily have a direct hit and blow up. Also there were reports of terrorist attacks in Jaffa, where I was an hour earlier which made it seem like a larger coordinated attack. I even had thoughts of terrorists storming the apartment building I was in. The emotions and fear came in waves. At times it was silent, and then all of the sudden the entire apartment would rumble and booms sounding extremely close. I was prepared to shelter for hours if needed. I was so in the dark and clueless about everything going on I tried to surrender. It was a dream like state but my heart was still racing pretty fast. The Israelis we were with were scared too so it didn't help. When there was a break in the rockets the Israelis said there is a better shelter 100 meters away. I was torn whether to run for it or just stay. I did not know if more missiles would start any minute or a terrorist would be in the streets waiting for us. After contemplation we all went and ran to a parking garage under ground. We stayed in this parking garage for about 15 minutes. The Israelis we were with told us they got an alert it was safe to leave the shelter. Still Zach and I were nervous if we should stay longer or run to the hostel. Like I mentioned for all we know more terrorists could be in the street or more rockets any moment. Everyone was leaving and we didn't have our phones so we decided to walk/run back. It was crazy. We were on high alert checking every corner. Small noises scared me and I though I heard sirens multiple times but it was just ambulance or other noises. We made it back to the hostel and got our phones and told everyone we are safe. It was around 2230. All the restaurants were closed and we were still hungry. We decided to go back out and look for food. I was nervous going out to the street still but it was important not to let the psychological terror get to me. Most places were closed but some bars were open. The streets were dead. People glanced at me weird as i walked the street. Luckily a grocery store was open and I got hummus and chips. We made it back to the hostel still shaken up and on high alert. We stayed up late talking to our parents and processing everything. **Wow what a day I'll never forget.**